marepowermarepower Member
edited January 2015 in General Interest
Is there any way we can express our opinions without offending others? When someone says IMO or JMHO, it it meant to be just that an opinion and nothing more. Expect that others are going to elaborate on that opinion. I joined the forum strictly because of my passion for horses. It does bother me when we lose someone with first hand experience from this forum. I am appreciative that we have this forum and are able to express our opinions/ideas and share valuable information with each other.


  • marepowermarepower Member
    edited January 2015
  • Well done, marepower, and having this thread is a great idea. I think if we say IMO or IMHO or something similar, it should not be cause to attack someone's opinion. Everyone is entitled to their opinion even if you disagree with it. You can then state your own opinion, but without attacking or criticizing.

    I've seen a HUGE problem here for a very long time where some members will ABSOLUTELY NOT let things go, no matter what. If they disagree with an opinion, they will keep coming back with their own opinion over and over and over until someone is driven away (and until I want to hit something). I think it's okay to state your opposite opinion in response to someone, but to keep coming back in an argumentative way is not acceptable. It turns into childishness, IMO.
  • I agree. Granted, I'm just an enthusiast at heart. But there are many of you that speak from first hand knowledge and I have learned a lot. I am hoping that those we have lost do come back. We have a great thing going here.
  • KMMKMM Member
    This is a good thread if those who are stalwart in their opinions will chose to be bound by etiquette and good manners. Other issues like abiding by copyright are legal requiments that are not part of this discussion.
  • Anything can be part of this discussion. Yes there are many whom are strongly opinionated. Just saying some sound offensive when we express those opinions. Written words can be difficult. That doesn't mean copyrights/legal requirements should be ignored.
  • KMMKMM Member
    Okey. But I think the clashes come from personal opinions. Legal requirements are out there in terms of copyrighted photos and articles. We just need to what there are and then respect ownership requirements. Not debateale about respecting ownership. Any lawyers with this expertise want to weigh in? My thoughts. K
  • Okey. But I think the clashes come from personal opinions. Legal requirements are out there in terms of copyrighted photos and articles. We just need to what there are and then respect ownership requirements. Not debateale about respecting ownership. Any lawyers with this expertise want to weigh in? My thoughts. K
    Totally agree with you that most of the fights happen when they come from personal opinions.

  • Yes CC I agree too about opinions. But an opinion usually stems from something you are passionate about. Doesn't mean they are right or wrong.
  • KMMKMM Member
    Totally support respect for each others opinions. With my family, I am an old time middle of the road Democrat in a very leaning Republic family. With that scenario, I ask that we can agree to disagree because their are sometimes instances where nobody can influence anybody. No winners. I would say in those circumstsnces state your opinion and let go. My thoughts k. Sometimes behaviour on issues parallels family. My thoughts. K
  • One of my first thoughts regarding this Forum was that posting a comment proves you have a very thick skin and can take the heat regarding rebuffs to your opinion but if you're sensitive beware the backlash. I've mellowed in that regard after a couple of instances of shaking my head, throwing my hands up in disbelief and just wanting to never view this site again. I said I would never post anything again (well here I am, duh!) but the bottom line is I absolutely enjoy this site, the information, the education, and the kind people that will share their knowledge. I'm sorry Zenyen left. She is knowledgeable and was willing to share but I think some took her observations as if someone was telling a mother her child was immature and a brat - not something a mother wants to hear but probably the truth. Just a reminder this Forum isn't Facebook where everyone and everything is wonderful, beautiful, picture perfect, the absolute best, and everyone is your BFF. :-)
  • bigherbie you are totally right. I never really had the opportunity to talk to Zenyen that much. Why did she leave?
  • Exactly. Zenyen had the knowledge and first hand experience that some of us could only dream about. Hope she returns
  • I considered leaving this site because for a short time, there was no etiquette and no one said a word. I couldn't understand why it was okay for posters to be chastised because of opinions. Yes it has happened a great deal in the past month (without Zenyen). I have finally reined in my need to reply...I consider the source and personality attached. It is what it is and apparently always will be. Now for the most part I stick to the threads where I think I can find new info and that works for me.
  • KMMKMM Member
    OK. Still very sensitive interactions. What would people who have had unsatisfactory interactions reccomend to make things be fair as their experience?
  • KMMKMM Member
    If we want everyone to say their piece, how do you want posts to go, so you, and everyone else are respected?
  • foalwatcherfoalwatcher Member
    edited January 2015
    You know I don't want to get caught up in negativity again because it really takes the fun out of checking in on Zenyatta and her babies. While they don't know me from Adam so to speak, I still feel this need to look over them. Everyone is here hopefully to share their love of following this magnificent mare. Opinions are great because they make everyone (for the most part) feel like they are part of Zenyatta's story. (Hope that makes sense). When stating opinions, just be careful NOT to reference anothers esp when they are different. That's a big No No ....etiquette gets tossed pretty quickly when that happens. Scroll through posts and no etiquette is pretty easy to decipher. Hopefully this thread will be a valuable reminder and there will be more smiling going on.
  • Good questions, KMM. I know one of the things that drives me up the wall is the people on the forum who seem to want to do more than express their opinion when they disagree with you, the ones who keep arguing and arguing their view and WILL NOT STOP. It's okay to disagree, but to keep coming back over and over and arguing the same thing is not fun and it's rude. And being told not to criticize Coz or any other horse because they don't want to hear anything negative is just ludicrous in my opinion. Everyone here loves Zenyatta and her "babies." If someone has an opinion that is the slightest bit negative or honest about Coz and what they see in his behavior, they should have a right to state that without being harassed to death about it. Just today, somewhere on the forum, someone suggested not criticizing Coz and that is just absurd. People with experience should be allowed to say what they see without fear of setting off another argument. Even people without experience should be able to say anything they want as long as they are not attacking another poster. Everyone has a right to their own opinion and should be allowed to state that.
  • foalwatcherfoalwatcher Member
    edited January 2015
    I think a great reply from this day forward will be "Etiquette please". I like it. On another note, I hope coz has a breeze tomorrow. I'm spoiled so I want more new pics. Good night from the East Coast.
  • Paniolo_GalPaniolo_Gal Member
    edited January 2015
    For me, regarding copyright issues on photos, this is indeed part of etiquette. The legality can be complicated indeed. But, for now, I will continue to follow the rules of the Forum for posting pictures as set up by Kylea until otherwise notated by the Forum: Never hotlink-always use your image hosting site, always notate credit to the photographer and source directly under each photo.

    Often times we see photos posted with no credit to the photographer and source...and are hotlinked as a quick and easy, perhaps lazy shortcut from facebook, etc...THIS IS A DEFINITE NO-NO! This is how broken links occur.

    Right now, Kylea has seen my photo postings to do minor text editings in the past in Golden Girls and has not called me out that I am doing it incorrectly. phew!
  • Anyone who is willing to post their personal opinion in a public forum should be aware that doing so will inevitably invite others to do the same. That is the nature of a society that has been brought up on the principle of free speech and discourse. So long as ALL opinions are presented respectfully, there is no reason for people to be so easily offended and take things so personally, and we all benefit from the exchange of information and ideas.

    At the same time, I think people should also realize that when they state a comment as fact, they should be prepared for the possibility that others may correct them if their statement is in error. Again, this should NOT be taken personally so long as it is done respectfully. There is a huge difference between opinion and fact. Opinions are open to debate, interpretation, perspective, etc. Facts are far more concrete. For example, the issue of what constitutes a "sibling" in Thoroughbred racing terms. While many like to call foals out of the same sire "half-siblings," by the definition used in the TB racing industry, they are not. Therefore, people who make this reference should not be offended when others correct a statement that is factually erroneous. Can people choose to ignore this fact and keep on calling them half-siblings? Of course, because that is the nature of free speech. But they should not take it personally when someone provides them with accurate information
  • I agree, Paniolo_Gal. And also, out of respect, IMO, when someone on the forum requests to be asked first, we should do that as a courtesy.

    Good points @crdolce, we should try a little harder not to be so easily offended.

    And I hope we can try harder not to turn everything into back and forth arguments. It gets so tiring!
  • Hi Louise, I am so glad this has come up! I have followed this forum since the beginning and I am very shy about posting comments in a public forum :) I have felt the same way for a long time about some of the posters - one seems to have to have the last word no matter what and I wondered if I was the only one noticing. I even left the sight for a while because of it. I wish Zenyen would come back, too. I absolutely loved to read her observations about Cozmic One and would love to hear them as well on Ziconic.
  • This is my first visit to this thread because I assumed from the title that it was about a horse with this name. LOL I have so often expected a thread about the title to be about the topic, like cavorting fillies, and I get surprised to discover the title is the name of a horse. So it turns out this topic is really about etiquette. Joke's on me. lol

    You all make good points. I think we all need to cut each other more slack. Some people are hypersensitive--which means too sensitive--and need to think before striking out in self-defense against what was actually not an attack on them. I'm sensitive too, but age has helped me gain some perspective on that and helps me to refrain from lashing out. I think sometimes the hypersensitive personality lashes out and then, perhaps in embarrassment at the overreaction, keeps coming back to "explain" the reaction, and truly doesn't realize this is only making the situation worse. To others the constant "explaining" comes across as insisting that the reactive opinion is the only correct one in the situation. Cut that person some slack and change the subject. Or drop it and come back to it a day later when you may have gained a different perspective.

    Most of us, I think, miss Zenyen. I never thought that she was a controversial figure at all and enjoyed learning from her experienced comments, and hope she will return. That said, leaving a site in a huff is not the answer, so her decision to leave was counterproductive. We are almost all adults here, and even most of the very young in the Forum seem to get it, so we all need to pull back a little and cut each other more slack. This includes the Zenyens and the overly-sensitives.

    Discussing something based on one's experiences is perfectly legitimate and should be totally acceptable. Other people may have had different experiences and have different perspectives on a topic. Others may actually have had similar experiences but have reached different conclusions. That's okay, too. We probably all know siblings who were raised in similar situations with the same parents in similar conditions (never exactly the same) who turn out totally different. So having similar experiences may lead to different conclusions. Neither is necessarily more "right" than the other, unless moral values are involved. We should all respect that.

    This is a site to keep us all involved with Zenyatta, her family, her people, her career, horse racing in general, horses in general, and so on. It's not a site to prove one is more correct than someone else. It's not a competition. . I think life is too competitive nowadays and feel we need more cooperation. That's my opinion
  • VA_in_CAVA_in_CA Member
    edited January 2015
    PS, We really shouldn't have to say, "that's my opinion" or IMO, or whatever, because of course it's our opinion. Why would we write someone else's opinion.? If we do, we should credit it! hahaha
  • Hi, Butters! Welcome to the forum. It really is a nice place for the most part, especially since we've starting getting to the root of the issues. Yes, there is a member or two who has to always have the last word. I guess we do what VA_in_CA suggests and just move on, because some are determined to have that last word. Lol! Don't be shy about posting. I was, too, at first, but it got easy pretty fast.
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