Chefs-de-Disgrace! Cooking & Other Disasters-Join The Laughter With Us!
This discussion was created as a hilarious discussion slewpy and I had while sharing our lack of skill & talent in the kitchen. Come join us in laughter regarding these mishap adventures by sharing your own misadventure! No pictures necessary, just a subject title if you can use a "deconstructed" racehorse name GREAT! (but not necessary) and your willingness to share funny personal foibles! Topics are not limited only to cooking disasters...just your bravery to share! Let's All "Havre Disgrace!" :oD
Comments
Back in my school days, I really, really wanted to take mechanical drawing but was discouraged as back then (I'm revealing my age) only males took this class...rather...I was forced by my advisor that cooking was a basic essential for all females. Yeah right! I almost flunked Home Economics...It was my lowest grade during my entire 3 years in High School! Till today, I can't cook to save my life! I can still burn water! Here is one of several mishaps in my thick novel of cooking disasters!
COOKING "One O One":
For a finale in my high school Home Economics class...on the last day of class, we were suppose to have a lunch party. So the night before while at home, I was suppose to make peanut butter cookies for the party. Well after waiting 2 hours for my cookies to bake...it never did look right nor harden when I brought it out of the oven to cool. I kept putting the batch back in the oven and it began to burn! I messed up my first batch (48 cookies) and had to trash it! Starting all over again, I found that I didn't add baking soda! Yikes! My lowest grade throughout my 3 years in High School was this darn Home Economics class!...a C—
I guess the Home Economics teacher felt sorry for me and didn't want to see me suffer again in class.
My ex-coworker gave me an easy "fool-proof" recipe for Chinese Shoyu Chicken that her 9-year old could make without any problems. Well...I also screwed that one up as well. Reading the recipe verbiage very carefully...I thought it said to boil chicken in the sauce for 30 minutes. Well after 30 minutes...all the soy/ginger sauce had completely evaporated to a thick black crusty film and my chicken turned out charcoal black as well and hard like "Rock-Hard Jerky" and the whole chicken was literally petrified and stuck to the bottom of my pot, even when turning it up-side-down! I ended up throwing the pot away! I didn't realize as it wasn't "clearly" written in the recipe, that I had to bring the chicken in the sauce up to a boil then simmer for 30 minutes. :oP I guess the recipe wasn't "Fool Proof". LOL!
Now that's only 2 of a bookful of my cooking disasters! My husband saw a few disasters in person so he never, never asks me to cook anything. We were afraid I would burn down the kitchen one day! But it's very odd...in science class, I did very well in chemistry. I just have no talent/interest in making edible foods!
LOL! @VA_in_CA that beach-side cookout with the half raw chicken reminded me of the time my girlfriends and I (sophomore year in highschool) tried to prepare a roast turkey for our social club's Thanksgiving dinner. We had a nice sized Butterball turkey but bought it frozen the morning of the party. (poor planning)... We tried to thaw it out all morning and afternoon. However, as time was running out before our party started...we had the
"brilliant" idea to raise the temperature of the oven thinking that the turkey would roast faster and get done in time...bad decision!
Our turkey was blackened and crusty on the outside...we had to remove all the skin as it looked disgusting and carefully sliced the areas that were cooked so that we had something on the dinner table and threw the rest of the turkey back in the oven in hopes that the deeper part of the turkey would get cooked as the party progressed. Yuck...the breast meat was DRY...DRY...DRY! It was more like Turkey Jerky! :oP
ROTFLMAO! For those of us who have problems preparing "attractive" edible food...We have the Foodini! A 3-D Food Printer! Shortcoming...we have to still cook or bake the food! :oP
Note: Knowledge about the Foodini was found by slewpy! :oD
A video of a few creative 3D edible food printers like
Foodini, ChefJet Pro by 3D Systems, Candy, Bocusini, and Barilla!
Delicious, Making Food From 3D Printer:
MORE FOR THE BUSY OR LAZY PROFESSIONAL PASTRY CHEF,
CHOCOLATIER OR CONFECTIONER...
World's First Chocolate 3D Printer!
3-D Food Printer Makes Dessert!
MOVE OVER MICROWAVE!
Then there was the grape jelly that never set. Because I had used salt instead of sugar. Cured me of storing stuff in mason jars unlabeled.
Trivia: The French word "Chef" has nothing to do with cooking, it actually means "Chief", "Leader" or "Head"...a term of the utmost respect. LOL...but in this discussion, I would say it means the Ace of Disgrace! :oD
Don't forget to provide a "title" for your annecdote so we can easily back track to find your "disgrace" story! If you can use a "racehorse name" or a fractured variation in the title...even better! But no pressure. :oD Example: Rock Hard Hen
KMM...Perhaps, if you want to share recipes or cooking sites, a different thread can be created. Just a suggestion. :oD
I'm a competent but unambitious cook, so I don't have too many good stories. My most memorable is the first time I made popcorn, when I was about 12 and babysitting, and the kids asked for popcorn. I knew how to make it in a pan on the stove; I just didn't know how to measure it or how much the kernels would grow. So, it just kept coming and coming and coming....
Then there was the time I tried to make moussaka for Christmas dinner. I put sliced eggplant on a baking sheet and put it in the oven to roast, but the eggplant reacted to the aluminum in the baking sheet and turned a deep black. Not burned, but discolored. I didn't know whether it would poison us. It may seem silly, but at the time it was right up there with the neighbors' dogs stealing the turkey in A Christmas Story--a disaster of epic proportions. I never try a new recipe for a special occasion anymore. (I can't think of a good title for that one, but if I do I'll add it.)